Nigeria, once again, finds itself in the realm of fiction, with its Constitution seemingly relegated to the shelf of fictional works in the library. The country's self-proclaimed patriots may protest, but as Samuel Johnson famously said, "Patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels."

In this era, former activists and revolutionaries have transformed into government informants, defending the government's lies and deceit. These newfound defenders of the government's falsehoods mimic former President Buhari's nepotism and parochialism like a Rank Xerox machine. Prebendalism, which has hindered Nigeria's progress for years, has now escalated with sycophants defending it through archaic loyalty.

One such lie was the claim that the United Arab Emirates (UAE) had lifted the visa ban on Nigerians, causing international embarrassment when it was revealed to be yet another fabrication. The announcement of Emirates' flights returning to Nigeria almost led to a celebration, only for the public to discover it was another lie from the mouth of the government's lackey, Lie Muhammed.

The government of the day surpasses the purveyors of fiction in Onitsha Market Literature. How else can one explain the falsehood of the first African president ringing the bell at the New York Stock Exchange, a lie so absurd that even the one who uttered it had to publicly retract it?

A government that boldly claimed "petrol subsidy is gone" is reportedly still entangled in the subsidy regime, living a lie. The government sent a large entourage to the United Nations General Assembly (UNGA) in New York, hoping for a meeting with President Joe Biden based on a fictional promise.

As poet Christopher Okigbo once asked, "How many million promises can ever fill a basket?" The basket of lies also includes the promise of achieving a 1-1 parity between the Nigerian Naira and the American Dollar, which has resulted in the devaluation of the Naira to a pitiful exchange rate.

Nigeria, a country built on mystery and shrouded in the 419 phenomenon, has been a scam from its inception. The accurate population of the country remains unknown, and virtually all elections have been marred by rigging, including the most recent one, with results announced in the early hours of the morning.

The concept of democracy in Nigeria takes on a different meaning, with "coup at the polls" being the norm. Anyone who disagrees is advised to go to court, where the judiciary often writes judgments under the influence of those in power.

Nigeria once cried foul when the then American Secretary of State, General Colin Powell, referred to the country as a nation of scammers. The heart of the matter is that Nigeria has always been a veritable 419 "mugu" (victim) ripe for exploitation.

Today, Chicago State University and shady American lawyers are involved in not exposing Nigeria's true nature. The grandest Advance Fee Fraud ever orchestrated on Earth was the so-called Amalgamation of Nigeria in 1914 by Lord Lugard, from which Britain continues to benefit.

Nigeria began its existence precariously, standing on three unequal legs. The intentions of Britain were dubious from the start, with the colonial powers doctoring census figures to favor the North. The 1959 elections were also rigged in favor of the Northern Peoples Congress (NPC), ensuring predetermined results.

The manipulation allowed the North to assert its dominance, even going as far as imposing a Muslim-Muslim ticket and claiming to have manufactured the election winner on their own accord.

At this moment, the purveyors of fiction must understand that Nigeria is viewed with worldwide derision as a fictional entity. It is disheartening that at 63 years old, Nigeria remains a child, as Chinua Achebe aptly described it. To gain respect from the world, Nigeria must grow up by conducting proper elections and announcing legitimate results, thereby earning true legitimacy for its leadership.

In conclusion, Nigeria's current state of being lost in a web of lies and fictional narratives only solidifies its inglorious position as a mere work of fiction.

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